Keep Walking....

As usual today this blog would celebrtae one of the zeniths of unsuccessfullness, though I try hard not to put negative ideas in my mind but perhaps this is the only way I can write. May be positivity in my life has been lost for ever, than be it trifle issues or something of utmost importance.
However, lets walk past my life which spreads negativity all around and rather join the crowd of Delhi which will be running tommorow, for what, I don’t know…I just know that they would be running a marathon, each fleeing from his own fate towards an another one…..

On this I remember the famous saying by Khwaja Nizamuddin Awlia -“Hanooz, Dilli Door Ast!", who sent this message back to the then sultanate ruler Ghiasuddin Tughlak, who had told him that once he come back from Bengal expeditions he will punish him. Pity to his unsuccessfull son, Muhammad Bin Tughlaq, who had created a wooden platform so as when his dad’s elephant walks over it, he could be visible to the crowd, the platform broke down, king died and Awlia become a renowned saint!

How much we run for things, chase them, achieve them and then run for the others “It always remain still far”…. hence forth my condolences for the people of J&K and only God (if there is any) will know, when their marathon would last.

As far as T is concerned, I will now have to write a obituary on Me….that is not such a big task but than as I analyze over it again and again, I know how foolish I was but than I was so drawn into it that I had no other option.
Yesterday as we were departing ( for ever, I guess), I gave her a small couplet that too with spelling mistake…huh

‘…..and on you I will remain quiet
coz they say silence has the might,
as it expresses all
for what even words fall……..’

and on the back of it I wrote this weblog address, hoping she would read it (though I very much regret it later as it takes away my anonymousity from me)….I don’t know what else I could have done and then finally I had the coldest handshake on this earth with the women for whom I yearned for…..
I don’t what she did with that note…may be it was as unsuccessfull as me, to convey the feelings and would have been showcased in the dustbin….

Whatever, I than went to Buzz’ with the group who was now to work at different centres (excluding her, she said she has a meeting) and as alcohol streamed into my blood, the feeling of lonliness was replaced by that of anger….and than I danced as if it was the only way to express my anger…I don’t remember what music it was, something trance…but I just danced….and when I finally dwelled back to my little left senses…I messaged her – “Thx once again “Mam”…….a.k.a T ” and like always she did not replied…..

All I just want to know, that if all strings are detatched and T is asked to say something on me, what will she say…..an unsuccessfull question I guess!

I just died in your arms tonight,
It must have been something you said,
I just died in your arms tonight

I keep on looking for something I can't get,
Broken hearts lay all around me,
But I don't see an easy way to get out of this,

Her diary sits by the bed side table,
The curtains closed, the cats in the cradle,
But who would have thought a boy like me could come to this ?

Ooh.. I just died in your arms tonight,
It must have been something you said,
I just died in your arms tonight
Ooh..
I just died in your arms tonight,
It must have been some kind of kiss
I should have walked away,
I should have walked away

Is there any just cause for feeling like this ?
on the surface, I'm just a name on a list
I try to be discrete but you blow it again.

I'm lost and found this is my final mistake,
She's loving by proxy no giving, all take,
resigned to fill her fantasy one of so many times

Ooh..
I just died in your arms tonight,
It must have been something you said,
I just died in your arms tonight
Ooh..
I just died in your arms tonight,
It must have been some kind of kiss
I should have walked away,
I should have walked away

It was a long hot night, she made it easy,
She made me feel right, and now its over,
The moment is gone
I followed my hands not my head
I knew I was wrong

Ooh..
I just died in your arms tonight,
It must have been something you said,
I just died in your arms tonight
Ooh..
I just died in your arms tonight,
It must have been some kind of kiss
I should have walked away,
I should have walked away
- By Duran Duran