It wasn’t exactly abandonment. Not that it was new
to him, or came as a shock – being abandoned. His ex-wife had already made him
pay for that experience. Still when his own cat, with whom he thought he had
finally developed a bond, blissfully snubbed him, he couldn’t help but rue his
fate more.
Like all pet owners, though this has been a subject
of debate when it comes to cats as to who is in the driver’s seat, he had given
her a name, which after much cajoling and food tricks, she had kind of agreed
on so as to save her from any more stupid games and let this relationship work
smoothly.
Now much to his dismay, she had even stopped
reacting to him when he called out her name. Not even the slight turn of the
head, or swaying the tail. It was complete abandonment, as if he didn’t even
exist.
“Is it justified if I tie my fate with you?” she
asked in her normal straight tone betraying any emotions. “We had our time, mostly
good if I must say, will it not be selfish if you try hold on to me. Emotional
Blackmail?” as a little bit of disdain crept in her voice.
“And I was a one hundred percent in our
relationship,” she said that a bit more loudly to dispel any doubts she had in
her mind.
“In fact you should be thanking me for all the
memories and let it be that way. But what you are doing is instead trying to
tie me with the past. I would say that’s not only selfish but cruel,” she
emphasised on the last word to drill it down in his thought process.
That and her eyes when she said so set him
thinking. Life in a wheel chair is tough. It becomes tougher when hope beckons
you that someday you will stand. Undoubtedly she had been beyond reasonable
with him in such tiring times, and the argument she presented was neat and to a
certain extent flawless.
“I know I’m clinging. But if I let it go will that
make you happy?” he barely managed to utter in his defeatist tone. He was in
love with her. And if he really was perhaps it is not justified to cripple her
as well, he thought to himself. For the moment his both legs and mind were
equally numb.
“It is not about me. Do you like me tied down?
Let’s assume I am willing to be the martyr, will that make you happy?” she sighed.
Just the look on her face when she uttered those words made him fall in love
with her again.
He tried hard to recall if there is supposed to be
some documentary evidence that pet therapy helps in faster recovery. Besides it
should have been the onus of a four legged creature to help a two legged one,
that too when both his legs had also stopped responding.
But he too knew the realities. He just had not come
to terms with it all. Like his body, his mind was struggling too.
“Look, believe me it is for your best,” she said in
a more calm and determined voice. “Hopes are easily betrayed, right now am
steeling you for the worst,” like the doctors say it, matter of fact, sprinkled
with a ‘but still’ – where hope hides.
“What about you?” he muttered.
“If that gives you any solace it is already tough
hearing your voice and ignoring it,” for the first time a bit of sadness crept
in her voice.
“I will, however, survive, its best I move on
early, we are wired that way,” she regained her composure, looking at him
smiling.
“Did you ever feel that I was not into us, ever?”
her eyes squinted.
“Well…did I give that feeling?” he looked right
back at her not knowing why they discussing this now.
“You have been stupid and me as usual forgiving,”
she slightly laughed.
“I wish things could have been different. For a
while it felt like this was to go forever,” he said this thinking over all the
sweet nothings they had discussed and laughed about.
“Again! It is for forever, in our minds and in our
hearts,” as she came closer but not too close to betray any feelings. “Believe
me, you will never forget me, nor I,” she faintly smiled.
“Do I get a hug, or a rub?” he looked at her
knowing she is right and that it is best he locks her away, only in his
memories.
“You know, I am shy…,” she blinked her eyes.
"I'll find my sea legs soon and come to
you," the romantic fool that he was.
"I know. We will meet at the horizon..."
and they left it at that.
