The idea of this story took birth in a bus, when I was trying to fight with my emotions. When I sat to write this story, I painted it with emotions, of mine, as well as of others. Some of them I understand, some of them are perceived. I don’t know if this piece is worth taking a look.
But after you read this, and you feel that this story, though fictional, connects somewhere to reality then mail this story to some of your friends, who you believe, may agree to my concept of
Unsuccessfulness.
The reason is, I want all of you to answer some questions asked at the end of this story. However if you feel that it was not worth reading, even then I have nothing to loose. I am already
Unsuccessful.
Start.....
A major population of Delhi travels through buses. These buses are the lifelines of Delhi. You can buy a ticket of Rs 2 for the minimum distance, Rs 5, Rs 7 and for the maximum Rs 10. This story is not about these buses nor on the transport situation. This story is just not a story…………
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The bus was almost overcrowded. Human bodies were jostling with each other. Perhaps, Auschwitz would have been a better place. She was sitting very calmly, lost in her own world. She looked outside, everything was moving fast, like her thoughts. “Not all who wander are lost”- she mumbled it to herself. Somebody had told her this, a few days ago.
In spite of the inhuman conditions in the bus, she was the only one who seemed happy, much to the discomfort of others sitting and standing next to her. As sweat trickled down her nose, it made her more closer to him, as if it was not hers but his sweat. She can now breathe his smell, lingering all over her body.
Few minutes ago, he had made love to her. In this hot summer, in a garden, under the shade of a Banyan tree. He savaged her like an animal. Holding her close, his hands all over her body. Slowly, feeling her bosom as his tongue explored her mouth. Two bodies lusting for one another.
Just the thoughts, made goose bumps appear on her skin. The rashes caused by their animality were hiding under her kurta. She involuntarily closed her thighs, as she felt dampness between her legs. He had less time, like always and she was so eager, as if it was today or never. Even the jeans got torn at the knees in their playful scuffle. Now it was looking more of a style statement.
“Oh! How much I love him. Had he been here, they would have made love, right here, 100 times more.” – and then she laughed at her insanity.
Charu’s body ached in desire. Suddenly she felt something vibrating in her pocket. The ring tone broke the monotonous whining of the aging bus. Some eyes turned towards her, while some hands searched their pockets. Hoping against hope that it was theirs. What else one can ask for, when you are travelling in a crowded, boring bus then a phone call from someone close.
It was Dhavan on the other end. She thought twice, before pressing the green button. The moment she did that, technology turned human.
“Hi Dhavan, how are you?”
“I am good, where are you? Why didn’t you come to the office?”
“Oh! I had to go somewhere”
“Where?”
------silence--------
“OH! I am sorry. So you will come tomorrow na?”
“Haan, pucca”
“Chalo then, bye, take care”
“Bye”
All strained ears were disappointed. In no manner it was a juicy conversation. And, she got lost in her thoughts again…. “What Ravi would be doing now? Perhaps shouting at top of his voice, just like him”…..as she glanced at the conductor.
She is not a regular bus traveller but she knows the price of each ticket and till what distance it would work. She got more reasons to remember than any ordinary passenger. Ravi had explain this to her, a few days ago and that too in carnal detail.
Lost in dreams, his words echoed in her ear –
“ Rs2, teri ankhon ke liye ( Rs 2 for your eyes)
Rs5, in hoton ke liye (Rs 5 for your lips), as his coarse fingers brushed his lips
7Rs, tere mummon ki liye (Rs 7 for your breasts), his fingers trailing her curves
Aur 10Rs”……as his fingers slipped inside her wet panties. They giggled.
A sudden jolt brought her back to reality. The bus had stop for the umpteenth time now. She wondered –“ How many stops have they constructed?” She took her mobile out to check the time. There was a message from Dhavan. She deleted it without reading. By now he was used to, not getting replies.
“How much he makes life simpler for me, I don’t know how Dhavan will react to this. Will he be able to adjust to this fact? In fact, he was unknowingly instrumental for this affair or was he?” – she brooded over this for a few seconds.
Charu, always dreamed about a guy, who was 6ft. tall, with a broad chest, long hairs. He should be dashing and sensous. Love is not all about understanding or is it? Ravi, was somewhat closer to this image. There was something raw about him. His aggression was captivating. He always wore a vest, all of them has holes behind. A small towel tucked behind his ears. Chest hairs springing out of his yellowish vest. Face rained with sweat. He was no less than a modern day Greek God. She had read about such characters in her college. “What he would be doing now?”- She thought.
Ravi, at this time, a few kilometres away, was fighting with a passenger over the fare. Ravi was a bhaiyya (Brother) for half of Delhi’s girls. “Bhaiyya, Dhaula Kuan tak kitna? Bhaiya, 5Rs ka ticket dena, Bhaiyaa this, Bhaiyaa that….”
He had never thought someone would look at him. He knew he was good looking. His friends always said that he could become a model. One fine day, a boy and girl boarded the bus. “Another young pair, saale aish karne jaa rahe honge. Is chutiya se to mein zyaada teekh lagta houn” – He thought. (Another young pair, must be going to have some fun. I definitely look better than this idiot).
The girl smiled at him. He smiled back. Nothing unusual. But when they were getting down she said – “Bye”. He was startled. He thought about it for few days and almost forgot it until she met her next. She looked like an angel in that pink dress.
That day the bus was almost empty. Their eyes met.
“Kahan tak, madam?” (Till where, madam)
“Kahin tak nahi” (Till nowhere)
“Kya?” (What)
“Kuch nahi” (Nothing)……as she started opening her purse.
“Accha aap rehne do” (You please don’t pay)
“Kyon?” (why?)
“Aise hi” (just as)
“Yehan beth jao” (sit here)……as he pointed towards the empty seat next to him. He took chances. And, to his bewilderment she sat down.
“Woh patla-dubla, ladka kahan gaya, jo us din tumhare saath tha” (where is that frail guy who was with you that day?)
“Kon Dhavan, apne ghar gaya hoga. Par tum kyon pooch rahe ho” (Who Dhavan, must be at his home but why are you asking?)
He shied. She laughed.
“Accha stop aa gaya, bye” (Ok stop is here, I am leaving, bye)
“Kal aaoge” (Will you come tomorrow)
“Dekhna…..(See…..) and she left.
The whole night Ravi could not sleep. Is she a prostitute? She can’t be. Is she playing with me? Nahi, why she will do that. The whole night he asked questions and answered them himself. Let’s see what happens next’ and finally in the morning he slept.
Next…...is a long story. Now, he calls her regularly. He has started reading Rapidex English speaking course book. He has not told her that. He has bought some new clothes. Now smokes a cavanders instead of a bidi and he has made love to her innumerable times.
Dhavan, was staring at his mobile. “Will she ever understand. I hope she knows what I mean. I don’t want to hurt her. May be I am not good enough for her. I will fight these thoughts from now. But whenever she smiles, my heart beats harder. I don’t know what to do. Shall I say it, what if, she says NO. I will not be able to take that. I mean, I am ok with that but. Whatever…” and he lighted his white cigarette.
Dhavan had developed a liking for Charu. Before meeting her he had decided that Girls are not any more important for him. He practiced this for almost two years. Solitude was his only bedmate. He had chances but he never took them. “ I will go for a girl who satiates my emotions not my desires”. Desires do get satiated but emotions never……
Charu was all the same with Dhavan or any Dick or Harry. She knew that he liked her. She liked his sincerity, his concern. But he was no where close to her dream boy. Somehow they have developed this understanding of not saying anything to each other regarding this. Both of them hoping that one of them would understand the other, someday.
Dhavan and Charu were colleagues at an advertising firm. When Dhavan joined, Charu was nursing a break off. For months she lingered on the memories of his ex-boyfriend. A quick fling with Armaan brought no respite. She always thought, “Why it is so difficult to fall in love the second time?”
She liked Dhavan, he stood besides her many a times. First Dhavan envied her, than start admiring her and now it developed into liking. The phases were gradual. She was cynical about herself and He always tried to peg her up. A confused relation and lot of expectations brought misery for Dhavan. Charu never said anything. What would have happened if she was straightforward about this? Or was she not? She told him what she is looking for. But things never were straight enough, always something or the other took place and they get closer. Or it was just a figment of imagination from Dhavan’s mind. He never said it straight, she never replied straight....
To say Dhavan loved Charu would be betraying his emotions. Also it would be equivalent to maligne Charu. Charu and Dhavan and Dhavan & Charu...confused?
Charu by now had left the bus and was walking back to her home. When, Ravi called…..
“Kahan hai tu?” (Where are you?)
“Bas, I am near home”
“Terko bolo hai na, english me git-pit mat kara kar, apne samazh nahi aata” (Don’t talk in english, I don’t understand)
“accha baba…..”
“kal milna hai na” (We are meeting tomorrow?)
“haan,reh sakti hoon kya….” (Can I stay without meeting you?)
-------6 months later--------
“Dhavan, I want you to meet somebody today”
“Sure Charu, May I ask, who?”
“Chalo na, you will know”
“ Ok, you are the boss”
“Dekhna…..”, she rolled her eyes.
They drove silently to the park. She directed the way. Sometimes silence screams louder than words. Both were hiding their fear in this silence. Each wondering what will happen.
Ravi was standing near an ice-cream vendor. He had put on a new t-shirt and jeans. Charu waved his hands towards him. He started walking towards them, Dhavan prespired.
Charu thought – “why he dressed like this, can’t he come as he always do, I have to tell him. I don’t like this.”
“Dhavan this is Ravi, Ravi yeh Dhavan hai”
“Isn’t he the bus conductor” – He looked at Charu, aghast!
“Yes…” She proudly gleamed.
Dhavan forced his hand. Both men locked their fingers against each other.
“Dhavan, you need to help us. We have decided to marry. It has been more then a year now and I know He is my man.”
Dhavan was stoned.
"But Charu...."
“I am sure Dhavan. I was hoping you will understand” – tears welled in her eyes.
“Sure Charu, I am there for you, always, may whatever comes”- he managed a smile.
They talked. Ravi was silent most of time. So was Dhavan. It was Charu who was telling about them to each other.
“I guess I have to leave….Ok Ravi, bye”
"Bye Charu and don't worry"
“Bye”
The sun kissed the ground somewhere. Dhavan fumbled with his white coloured cigarette. His legs were weak as he moved towards the parking. Suddenly he stopped. Looked around and start moving towards the bus stand. Boarded the bus.
“Kahan tak?” - conductor asked
“Saare, ticket de do……”
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Now since you have read it. Whether you liked it or not, it’s a different story. Please answer the following questions-
Is Charu unsuccessful? cause she never understood Dhavan and hence did hurt him somewhere. She also didn’t like the change in Ravi, which was for better. Is she confused?
Is Dhavan unsuccessful? cause he was never able to muster his courage and say it to Charu...may be she could have realised.
Is Ravi unsuccessful? cause he is changing because of Charu and thus loosing the originaltiy, which made Charu come to him.
