2006?

Before I dwell into this theme, let me put up a question on the gender of 2006.Though this may sound foolish and unnecessary which I totally agree to, but we should know a bit about what’s coming in.

I think scientifically, New Year does not holds any strong meaning, except that earth has once again like it always does has finally revolved around the sun and we mortals find different reasons to celebrate this!!

Anyhow I remember that as a kid, I use to make cards for my neighbors and friends, at that time Archies/PaperRose wasn’t that popular or they were sent to better off relatives and for rest we either use to send hand made cards or the one which are bought @10 Rs/pack, also for neighbours spending a rupee was a little unnecessary and it was the only time we could exhibit our drawing skills and one-liner talents.
So, I remember working along with my sis, as we prepare different cards and than like as all siblings do, fighting over it, the various reasons for that were as follows -

• Which cartoon/picture to draw
  
• Who will draw and who will fill in the colors
  
• To whom it will be given
  
• and who will write

But than despite my parents not believing in gender bias, I was the one who was crowned to be the delivery boy, as the task not only has to be done in the middle of night but also with precision (i.e. not to get caught, while slipping in the card), as other children waited at their doors with baited breaths and the moment they hear any sound of someone walking or see an envelope being pushed in, they would open the door and say “Pakad Liya, Dekha”, which use to cause huge embarrassment and than adding to your humiliation they would give you, your card and say “hamne socha tha tumhe jab pakad lenge tabhi denge” and thus you return back home with your card…..to face once again taunts from sis on being unsuccessful'

Plagiarism is often involve in making cards, as we use to copy lines, design from last year cards (if there) or from the new ones, which he have received early thanks to postal dept.

When I look back at those years which are now lost somewhere as earth kept on revolving monotonously I feel,Yes, New Year is a change…..change from watching DoorDarshan with family to not watching Satellite TV, from preparing cards to sending texts (SMS)….but some things never change, like I am still in habit of forwarding such messages…..lol

Coming back to my question on the sex of 2006, well I would say it’s either a pregnant female or a new born child, both weighed with expectations & than expectations…...may be I am deciphering it, like as always Unsuc…….

Hapless Mulling........

DISCLAIMER : I am not a pessimist, I am just Unsuccessful’ and this is what happens when you start thinking in the middle of night, have nothing to do, you cannot talk to any one or if want to rephrase it you don’t want to do so, loneliness is good but than try not thinking when so.

He was all alone, sitting in the comfort of his not so warm room, the tethered quilt though was capable enough so as not to let his feet go numb but it was not the cold outside which bothered him, it was the dense fog inside which we was scared about.

His whole room can be measured as 3 steps horizontally and 5 steps vertically, two pair of shoes, some clothes, a table hosting latest magazines, a chair whose nuts have developed a habit of dropping from nowhere and two bags along with a wooden cot which was caressed by two mattresses and a pillow.

He was feeling disconnected, though technologically he was just a call away from so called his people but sometimes distances do matter.
As boredom once gain set in, he lighted up a cigarette, smoke came out of his nostrils and filled the vacuum, nicotine no longer calmed his senses, yet he was addicted to it, why? He never searched for answers, every time he did so his bleak past came in front of his eyes, laughing, screaming, pointing fingers, he was by now scared of it and future was formless and at present searching for it would be just like asking for a non-delayed flight on a foggy morning!

Taking birth in a middle class family is today world’s greatest sin, it is equivalent of the mythological Trishanku, being poor you just look for satisfying your needs and rich stands for satiating your desires but aspiring for wants is quite troublesome, its like being half-dead………

For Homo-sapiens, living a socially formulated life is quite irksome, you have no freedom, and one barters it for cohesiveness and social support. You are burdened with responsibilities and so forth. “We are social animals” – whenever he read this he gets amused, the word animal still tags along and than aren’t we, we pounce on inferiors to us, get scared of superiors, lust constantly raises its hood amongst us and than the modern word competition isn’t its just a replica of jungle rule, a fight for better living, better grasslands, better game, a fight for good life, better mate, protecting springs-off………


Do world revolves on two axis, Sex and Success, one for survival and other for generation……perhaps sometimes we need not to be philosophical, rather should behave as a traveler experiencing new things as they come along but what if the journey becomes cumbersome?

As he stubbed the cigarette, he read on the packet –Cigarette Smoking Is Injurious To Health’ and than he understood, the whole zest of existence is not inside, its there on the surface, somewhere written in Bold and we either fail to realize it or just ignore it……Unsuccessfully’

Makhtub.....

Winters has brought nothing new for me and it has also been quite dismissive of my stand against nature, that I do not like seasonal changes…..this was just articulated by the met dept. prophecies to expect more chill in up coming days. I just don’t like winters, for me it’s a pain both physically and mentally. Physically coz my already lean frame, refuses to stand up against this onslaught and I develop cold and it other family members, mentally coz I am already inactive and the cold give me one more reason to be so!

Anyhow….I was unable to buy a cell-phone not because I didn’t have money but becoz I felt that spending 18k for a mobile was not worth it…..Well if some marketing student want to do a case study on me…..I think than I would have been the perfect material for that, I searched markets, asked about product availability, post-sales services, resale value and what not and all this exercise went futile as I finally decided not to buy that…..I personally feel that it was the middle class mentality that was the only roadblock that strangulated my dreams…..or am I like the Alchemist’s merchant, who could never go for pilgrimage……and than as he said Makhtub……….

So yesterday Z came, I had called him because I was afraid going alone to buy the cell, although we ended up at TGIF, Priya’…..had some rum and after that he decided for me that it was better if I keep the corpse of unsuccessfulness’ on my shoulders as than it could always act as a motivation for doing something good in life, so buying a new cell would lessen its weight and henceforth both materialistically and by intellectual standards, I have no rights to buy it! ……And than even in half inebriated state I kept my vow of not watching movies in hall......

N is having a bad time at IMA, makes me think why not always life goes in a straight fashion when it ought to be?

And this is for all those, who are fighting against their sins’ past or present, successfully or unsuccessfully, like me or unlike me……

Crossroads as they say
it happens all in sway,
Rhyming seems imperfect
tongue has lost its sweet effect,
Guarded air as they say
even sun sprays poison ray,
Words spell doom and sound grave
sea has lost its splash waves,
Me, huh the lone fighter
Keeps the vigil on the crown
and also speaks in a perfect noun,
All day and night, I would be the one
though Unsuccessful’ in my run
still going to say, yes it is still fun……

Abyssal'

This poem is written by keeping in mind a 10 year old boy from Tehri (Garwhal)…..who narrates his experience of his land grabbed for making a modern temple of India (Tehri Dam…built on homes of natives there, supposedly an environmental danger)…..I don’t know, how much I am successful in this attempt, to look at it with a 10 year old heart…anyhow my history precedes me…..which speaks volumes on my unsuccessfulness’

They came here some years back,
told us 'that we are a lucky stack,
The river above would be channelised
and our land is the perfect site,
Hence they will built a dam
this will irrigate many lands,
They all muted on water……….

We were very happy with this thought
somebody even broke a coconut, just for the right start
For some months it was all quiet
suddenly, big machines appeared the next night,
Streams of people poured in
wearing turban, skull-caps and some with suite and a tie-pin,
They all had different equipments you guess
I thought they would need my geometry box as well!

After some days they asked us to gather
my mother had an inkling of rough weather,
Father works in a big city, I don’t know
chacha thought, they called to give us jobs though,
They said’ we should be proud
for dam will end the country’s drought,
Our names will be galvanized in history
all we need to do is, to leave our village swiftly!!

We protested at this decision hard
why they never told us right from the start,
They said; view it from a different stand
country will benefit, from our submerged land!!!
Also, they will relocate us somewhere
and this will be done in a ceremony with fanfare,

Next day, some big leader came in
he said, we should fight against this sin,
Someone told me, he had saved tress before
where will trees grow, if there is no land more!!!!
Some known writer also pitched high
people said, she knows America’s president wife,
Hopes were floating everywhere
winter was also near,

Explosions in the mountains heart
we shivered on their part,
Turtles & Fishes would attend my school
coz under water, crocodile teaches with a rule,
We are still waiting for the Promised Land
chacha says, it will never be till the end,
May be I will go to the big city where father lives
mother says it’s a big risk,


Nor the mountain neither river smiles
just one question, will haunt us throughout our lives,
For why they all muted on water…..

Outsourced........

Nothing good going on…..just the same old story……thought better to air my views on outsourcing, which I wrote long back….have delayed buying the phone…..may buy a digital camera…..I don’t know…..I am too unsuccessful to take decisions now……should I outsource them?….Yes, No …maybe!

For How many years they rule our world
make us live in fear and death
Showed their supremacy all the way
and thought they would easily getaway,


Target their missile on our land
helping that fucking neighbour on the other end
Nuke bombs, tanks and submarines
built and sold everything that solves their needs


They denounced our nation saving move
and attack a country coz dictator rule
What they do is perfectly fine
coz they in a country of dollars and dime

Now it’s our turn to revenge
let them pay for their mistakes
And make their life a bloody hell
by taking all their jobs away

So sing with me and let them sigh
we don’t care if they are dying dry,
All we know its our time high
for all you phirangis its time to say goodbye


Science that was ours you took away
made us fool by your glittering babes
Cheated us on everything
c’mon be brave to face the swing,

World Trade Centre already gone
now we want the Washington house dome
See your Pentagon back in rumbles
Dow Jones has to fumble,


So sing with me and let them sigh
we don’t care if they are dying dry,
All we know its our time high
for all you phirangis its time to say goodbye!