Bubble

What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?


Life is moving at its snail pace, just that I need to pay for the fuel now. Things have certainly changed yet I feel that I am in a time warp. As if I'm living in a bubble, which revolves. I can see the outside world that appears different every time. Some how I forget that I can only see it, I cannot feel it. And when this realisation struck - I feel both sad and happy. Is it hard to define? I think so.



Anyhow, these days I'm watching a lot of movies. The kind of stuff, otherwise I would have never thought about viewing. Don't ask me the names because I watch 2-3 movies simultaneously. I mean I keep flipping between channels. These are some of the movies that I watched
1. Don't remember the name - starring Amish, Esha and Aftab.
2. Don't remember the name - starring Winona Ryder and Adam Sandler
3. Gangster
4. Pelican Brief
5. Chocolate (Hollywood)
6. Tahalka
7. Mere Papa the Great
8. Some old movie, when Dev Anand was really young
9. Mumbai Se Aaya Mera Dost

10. A few movies, where some youngsters realised their dream for once.
11. A movie starring Govinda, Mahima & Raveena (an I thought Mahima never acted with Govinda…huh!
12. Janeesheen


Now one thing I've realised that movies are a lot similar like the bubble I'm in. Come on, how many times, this have happened to you, that the girl you love is your foe's sister, daughter etc. Or the town you live in has some secret that except you everyone knows, or for that matter, your dad always pretends that he is capable of doing everything, or circumstances so become that you marry twice…. I guess, all will agree to the fact that this may not happen normally but is very much possible. You can see it, may be experience it in some form but can't live it.




The other thing I've realised is why momentarily we fall in love with these cine artists (in my case actresses.) Now when I se a pretty face like Winona Ryder weeping or Miss Lohan sulking, my heart goes out for them. And you know what, you start longing for these kind off girls; I mean not necessarily the face but a heart like them.


Also, one movie where I came literally to tears was 'Mein Madhuri Dixit Banna Chahti Hoon'…. I loved the character that Rajpal Yadav played. I found it interesting that the character was totally devoted to that girl and completely hide his identity. Even in the last, once again, he killed his dreams for her or to put it in better words he started living her dream. The place where I felt bad was when that guy, who promised 'Chutki' (played by Antra) to make her a movie star ridiculed Rajpal in front of her and she joined him in doing that.



Last but not the least, I finally visited a doctor and like always my fear come true. Now I'll have to visit him again and may be again. I hate this breed, they talk so comfortingly and with so ease that sometimes you forget that you're sick or suffering with this or that.

But one thing I noticed in the movies, in my bubble and people around, there is one theme common and that brings changes and that is being unsuccessful, perhaps my time is yet to begin till then I have to live with it, either by choice or by force.

For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone.