Shadow

A series dedicated to all whom I know and how I interpret them, though unsuccessfully.....

We will not give her a name. Because whenever someone asks her, what she prefers being called as, she chooses any name according to her fancy. So you can call her, address her or refer to her by any name, it won't matter. In fact most of the times, it doesn't matter what she do or is trying to do.

Except now and then, she has never-ever played a major role in anyone's life. This is what that always troubled her. Come on…it will bother anyone. Most of the times she was taken for granted. In spite of her countless efforts to win hearts, to be hated and to be admired, she never got any recognition. Roll no. 32, with a nameplate on her shirt, which was pinned on her sweaters in winters, she cannot escape out of it long after school. She was just another student, another worker, another friend and another colleague.

I firmly believe that if she dies tomorrow, it will not make any major difference to anyone. (Of course except her family) Now this includes me as well and I somehow hate to admit that.

It was insane from the start. Her so-called friends were mean, they called her only when it was required - "Hey what's the class tomorrow? Do you have those notes? You know, this guy proposed me!!! I don't know what to do with my mom.".. and so on. And poor she, she was always there. Sometimes as a punching bag, most of the times as a pillow to sob on. What was she trying to find? Perhaps some good company. And more than that, this made her fool herself that she was one among them.

Being the youngest at home, she was a pampered lot but not a spoiled one. The great Indian middle class always leave something to be desired for and that what happened in her case as well. She had everything but what always pinched was she could not have everything that she wants. Perhaps this subdued her desires. And after sometime, the desires, they weaned away.

She always hooked on to the most admired, different people in her circle. Most of the times it so happens that such different people either don't have anyone or they want someone to rally around them and our dear character suited this profile. So most of the times, she was visible with such characters and lost her identity in an attempt to be identified.

About her expeditions with the male species, there is not much to be talked about. Though every girl becomes a fantasy of someone. She had real bad luck. For, she was never able to sustain that. Why? Beyond the physical structure, there were a lot of reasons behind it.

Yet she is hopeful. Whenever I look at her, I pity her and wonder why she knows only Ctrl C, Ctrl X and Ctrl V. There is a new world, where she can be herself but the only problem is - She needs to discover herself, as to be discovered. Till then, like me, she has to live up with unsuccessfulness. The difference, she tries to fight it and I love to be with it.