Number

Finally the winters are here. It rained last night. Not much I guess, because by the time the first drop fell down I was fast asleep. It was around five in the morning. Before I slept, I realised that a mosquito has bitten me. I went through the whole process of reassuring myself that the mosquito that bit me would not have that Dengue virus. I laughed upon that thought as well. Comparing it to having unprotected sex with a prostitute and then hoping not to catch AIDS…hah. Then I thought that what all I have to go through if I become another name in that long list of – dengueised. I’ll take leave, stay at home, take lot of fluids, and pop parecetamols down my throat. Or will I get admitted to a hospital. I know in government hospital nurses aren’t beautiful though some interns are. But for them I will be a case study. This thought disturbed me more and I sincerely prayed that I should not suffer from this dengue fever. I still don’t know, I haven’t yet started feeling body pain, nor yet fever has set in. I’m still scared!!!


I managed to wake at 11 a.m. It takes me 15 minutes to walk up to my bus stand. Actually it depends. If I buy a tea, half-chai and a smoke, it takes me 20 minutes. Then I think that I have managed to prolong my life for five minutes, which compensates the 11 minutes I lose. So in total I lose six minutes. I was never good with maths. While travelling in the bus, you see lot of faces, will not call them fellow human beings because once their stop comes, they get lost in the constantly swelling numbers of my country. The Population index at AIIMS is majestic, if your buswallah makes you wait, you can actually see the numbers moving. For you they are numbers, but in some families it will be a moment to celebrate or some will rue their fate. I don’t know…I will keep it to simply numbers.


Delhi looks majestic in this season. I want to explore her more. But time has chained me. Delhi is mostly responsible for this, how can she be so cruel to her lovers? Don’t she know, how painful is that, she needs to figure it out or perhaps it doesn’t matter. But she won’t and why should she? It is your problem. She has defied time before and is still doing it. One day while going towards Khan Market, I saw a Parsi Cemetery; I haven’t explored that angle of Delhi yet – The graveyards. Perhaps, one day I will. Also there is one behind my office. I don’t know how old it is. But it sometimes comes in my dreams. I’ll not visit it anymore. It reminds me of past, a past which spells out unsuccessfulness of my Delhi. Mauled through the hands of a stranger. A known stranger.


After writing all this, I feel a bit happy. I know this is momentary. I’ll not hide from the truth. I have to go in that graveyard. That stranger doesn’t matter now. The population index will keep on ticking and my math will always remain poor. Only uncertainty is Dengue, may be the noise and pollution from crackers will get us rid of that. And at last I’m also another number – How Unsuccessful?