Like all nights I didn't sleep yesterday as well. I have no reason to stay awake. Still, I can't help myself. I think this has now became a habit and to blame anyone for this would be a mistake. Anyhow, today I am in no mood to blame anyone.
Summers are here. I don't hate summers. The city becomes interesting in this month. I am sure Delhi doesn't hate summers. Why? I don't have any justification for this. I have stopped reasoning. I think I am done with that. My sleepless nights are now more boring. Reasoning was my only companion. Now I've deserted her. But somehow Delhi still lingers all around me, in the bookshelf, in some old torn pages, in the glow of the cigarette burning on my lips, and in the smoke that vanishes nowhere in the room....
But, I know I have to live with all this. Just like I've now started to learn - How not to panic when electricity is not there. So, I ignore her presence. I don't want her sympathy. But I still have to write the last post. And, I have to visit Red Fort for that. I plan to do it soon. Once I'm done with Red Fort, I'll close the Delhi Chapter once and for all.
Another interesting thing is happening to my phone, it has started receiving calls from some new numbers. For me they are still numbers and I'm sure my phone doesn't like to ring at night. Whenever it rings, it disturbs the three of us....Me, my loneliness and Delhi. So, after playing as a good samaritan for few days, I've stopped taking those calls. Call it my 'unsucessfullness', coz I don't think I can justify any role now.
Lot has been happening this week. N is going to get married. This makes me really feel old. Even before my b'day. I mean the life till now seems like a movie. Anyhow, as usual poor N was confused...we had this chat on G-talk, which I'll post below.....But for sure one thing becomes crystal clear......I'm still waiting for the morning. And some mornings only come after a period of mourning. And for Delhi, well.....
There is now in this town a famine of the grief of love, Asad
We've agreed that we would remain in Delhi-- what will we eat?
Ghalib
Here is my conversation with one of my best friends, who is going to get married...I guess, the diellma is there from centuries...
D: hi yaar
how are you
so good to cu online
N: i wished u were online
i want to talk to u abt something very serious
r u freee
D: yes
wht hpnd?
N: it will take 15 min
D: bol na
fuck the time
if its serious bol
N: i am abt to get married
D: lol
thts kewl
N: i have seen the girl this sun
D: yeah baby
how she looks?
N: now the thing is tht she is ok
but i dont know if i should marry that girl or not
i am confussed
D: see boss...two things
a. look if she matches your mindset
I mean whts the use if u marry a beauty and then she creates hassles
so...first and foremost check that
b. I mean if you don't like her then don't marry her.....i mean whts the use of rueing it later
N: thts the point now the girl is frank
although she is not a perfect match since requirements in army a little different from civil as
D: I understand....frank bole toh?
Kaku jaise
in frankness
where is she from?
and what she has done?
N: in army she has to be very outspoken and she has to be infront of crowd every day dealing with mens wives
she is from gonda
D: every girl manages that
she will acuustom
so don't look for the just perfect thing
N: she has done ba and she is doing ma(english)
D: she shld knw how to speak english thats it
don't go for very frank girl
nahi to kal ko woh tera officers ke biwi ke ssath patte khelti rahegi
N: i know tht but the thing is i cannot say anything as my mom and dad are so happy with the family of the girl tht they have blindly given there consent
D: but all of a sudden....I'm surprised
wtf
is this ur marriage or ur parents?
N: no no thts not wht i meant by frankness
mine but the point is tht they have almost said yes even before me
D: so?
N: now the thing is i have said yes
a go ahead for the marriage and ur the first person to know this
D: why u said Yes?
and u can always tell them its not that
I mean its ur life
N: i had no option and the thing is i had no reason to say no
strong reason
D: u can always say u don't like her
i mean isn't this a strong enuf reason?
N: the thing is tht mom and dad told me tht they are happy with the girl
D: and on top of that u can later tell ur bhabi or bjhaiyya to convey this to ur parents
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?
fuck this is ur life dude
i mean yeah they are v. imp
but still
N: the whole thing is very complicated
i will explain this in simple terms
my bhabhi has a cousin sister and she wants me to marry her with which my parents will never agree
D: ok
but still there are not only two girls in this world
i mean u can still tell ur parents to wait
N: its only my elder brother who understands the whole thing
D: and what he says?
Go for it?
like he did?
wtf
N: now he cannot say anyhing to dad and mom becoz they would think he is lobbying for the girl habhi wants me to marry
D: ok
so.....let them be out of picture
U stand for urself
tell Suraj
he can say at leats
I mean no use of gettin married to sm 1 u don't find attractive at all
ok.....do u find her attractive?
N: now if i stand for myself the whole thing is like a script which has been written just for me
D: fuck them yaar
u tell me...u find her attractive?
YEs or NO
N: she is ok i will send a snap of hers to u and asshole keep it for urself only
D: boss
see
N: she is not the most beutiful girl but she is ok
D: U like her
i mean u comfortable with the idea of spending ur life with her?
Did u had a converstaion with her?
u have a phone wid u?
can I call u?
N: the thing is i m just not sure look she is the first girl
D: then wait na
dekh boss
tell ur parents frankly
or ask suraj to tell
was he there?
N: i have met i have seen her photo but i dont know if i could find another girl or not
D: what
dude
listen
This is India
and ur an army officer
any girl would happily marry to you
aise toh I shld nt even think of getting married ever
N: i have said yes tht i am going to marry tht girl becoz i felt i was not having any other option
D: FUCK YOU
now listen..would u like me to call ur parents
and expalin them
or can Suraj do that better
N: no not at all
suraj has lost it on this
i will tell u suraj is getting hopeless day by day
D: then tell ur parents wht u feel
at least tell ur mom
I'll still say - IF YOU DON'T FIND HER ATTRACTIVE DON'T GO FOR IT
ur just 24.....people marry till 27-30
N: and u dont know wht to say
D: what?
abe sun
load mat le
abhi kaun sa tune shaadi kar hi li
N: r u there
D: yes
I am
haan
tommorow i am going to allahabad
D: I'll call u tonite
arrey maine to pucha hi nahi
Bhahbi ka naam kya hai?
whats her name?
salle.....coz u I feel old :-(
N: priyanka\
D: kya baat hai
Priyannkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaa
chal take care
Will call you..
11 comments:
Your friend, N seems to be getting into marriage for all the wrong reasons. Agreeing to it because parents want it?
I think he should decide and take a stand else he would keep repenting, later.
you have to tell us what ends happening to your dear friend....
the chat, that seemed like a conversation tat'd happen in 80's. geez. a 25 year old talking to someone to decide if he should marry a girl. and that someone, you, who has never even met the girl, was opinionising as if you've her her for ages. get a life both of you. and specially you, your life seems wuite down the hill by itself, think abgout that, than worry about why N should/shouldn't marry the girl..
the only good thing about your stupid post, you made me laugh..
I totally agree with you Minal. Even I tried to explain him the same thing over the phone.
LF...sure. I'll. lets c if hegets married and if tht happens it will only be after a year long wait.
Dear Anonymous....though the chat may appear as if done in the 80's I still find all the people around me go thru the same pangs even in circa 2007. May be I live in an 'unsuccessful' world which is light years away from yours. Another thing, I was not opinionising about the girl. I was asking him to think abt it..nowhere I've said the girl is good or bad. 'Get a life' is very cliche term, don't know in what sense you talking about. My life down the hill...lol...I wish, at least something to ponder upon, unfortunately what worries me is my struggle to scale the peak and this is where unsucessfullness comes. And...if this post made you laugh..good...after all you didn't regret reading it.
I totally agree with you Minal. Even I tried to explain him the same thing over the phone.
LF...sure. I'll. lets c if hegets married and if tht happens it will only be after a year long wait.
Dear Anonymous....though the chat may appear as if done in the 80's I still find all the people around me go thru the same pangs even in circa 2007. May be I live in an 'unsuccessful' world which is light years away from yours. Another thing, I was not opinionising about the girl. I was asking him to think abt it..nowhere I've said the girl is good or bad. 'Get a life' is very cliche term, don't know in what sense you talking about. My life down the hill...lol...I wish, at least something to ponder upon, unfortunately what worries me is my struggle to scale the peak and this is where unsucessfullness comes. And...if this post made you laugh..good...after all you didn't regret reading it.
"I'll close the Delhi Chapter once and for all."
An adieu? "Not farewell, but fare forward." I hope.
D... I quite agree with you on this one... this convo is as real as anything.
times change people do but problems not neccesserially...
Anon is a dumbass...
Haven seen u round on either what am i or desi...
Typical scenario I would say. My friend G, went with his parents, only to say yes to the "could be bride".
Whats the need to take your son if you don't listen to him. Some parents think they own their kids. Some are genuinely friends, some seem indifferent, and some are just there for you.
thank you for stopping by! how are you? no new posts lately?
anonymous - you had a choice to click "close". Start exercising your rights buddy, why do you have to worry abt what D is worried abt? and if at all u wanted to, say ur name! no one's gonna eat you here.
D - just one thing worried me, finishing the delhi chapter once and for all. did we give you an impression that we are fed up with delhi posts? then y do you have to stop? i loved the part when the buzz disturbed the three - u, ur loneliness and delhi. that brough a smile.
III...I seriously don't know.
Thx Pricky....updating my comp for watching youtubes...so bt noqw u'll see me around.
Nishu Sir..u're almost right but somethings happen coz they have to happen.
LF...I am a lazy guy...and surely will check your new posts.
LASH....its me who's trying to fight DElhi..more I write about her, more I'm in love with her and this city has disowned me....
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