Delhi- IV

I don't know but I've finally decided to call it a day. Reason, I have no clues. Perhaps somewhere I don't want to do it and in a way I'm forcing myself but I have to. As a loser I don't stand a chance and for what and why? This is extremely boring and this makes me feel sad. I guess I'm slowly dying. But the problem is I've felt so a thousand times before and still I'm very much alive. Perhaps when you ask for it you don't get it and when it comes you try to resist it. How unsuccessful!

Some days ago, I went to Jama Masjid. It was Eid. I don't like to believe in god. But the place reminds me of him. The tall minarets, the vast courtyard and the simplicity within this grandeur. This makes me feel both small and big. I look for Delhi. I yearn for her. But I couldn't find her anymore and her smell is also missing. I become lonely in the crowd. Like a lost kid….

Inside Jama Masjid, there is a small pond, where people wash their feet before saying prayers. I think the process is called ablution. The water washes away your sins before you ask for oneness with god. And before you enter the main hall, there is a beautifully carved marble gate. You have to go beneath it so as to enter the main hall. It is so designed that an adult has to bend while passing through it. Smart attempt I must say. Even in those times the king had to shed his supremacy before entering. The moment the king bends, the supremacy of god is accepted.
The whole idea makes me laugh. I mean we humans make a building which compete with the skies, only to realise we cannot defeat god and then we make sure that we itself say that. Perhaps the same is with Delhi and me. I try to compete with her only to realise that I can't win and then I accept my defeat. If it is to be so then let it be that way. Neither she can take anything away from me nor I can give her anything. But then in all honesty, if this is so then it is true love. And Delhi, she does not believe in love she encourage admirers. She is a candle who attract moths and the fate of moths…..unsuccessfulness?

From Jama Masjid, my newfound friend and me traversed to Chawri bazzar. It is said that this was where the lust of Delhi once lived. Lust of Delhi? I wonder. Delhi does not lust she lures. And whenever Delhi lusted it turned out to be a blunder. There are various examples. Be it before mutiny or after independence, whenever Delhi felt for his ruler, they vanquished and Delhi she was devastated at this loss. Now that she has learnt her lessons, she plays and Oh! She plays it well. Anyhow Chawri Bazzar has changed over centuries. I cannot visualize those lovely ladies standing in the balconies trying to lure passers-by. I tried hard but of no avail. I tried to see Delhi again but she wasn't anywhere. Somewhere I wanted to blame it on my newfound friend but then I realised I have lost it. Chawri Bazzar looked like a market filled of shops and rickshaws. A reality that I hate to see, hear and admit.

This self incised wound refuses to heal up. Delhi is lost and it now lives in the book of history. I don't know but back there in Jama Masjid, a Sikh man who brought her daughter was telling her little one that there is nothing great about here. His daughter may have read about Jama Masjid in some history book and insisted to see the place. Holding the little girl's arm he said, "See it is just a vast open space. There is nothing here to see." Little he saw the fascinated look at his daughter's face. She was fascinated by what I am in love with. And her father, he will not understand it, nor will others.

And then from nowhere, I saw Delhi, at the other end, just below the moon. She was looking mesmerising. I tried to call her but my voice was choked. I turned and looked at the little girls face; she was also looking there, as if trying to memorize this grandeur. A kid and a lover, both lost for one thing. Who's unsuccessful? Me, the kid or Delhi? Whatever be the answer one thing is sure that Delhi continues to live, if not with me then with others…..successfully I wish.