Explaining Unsuccessfulness…….

For the past few weeks, I had no reason to write this blog. In fact, I was even thinking about writing myself an obituary. Somehow or the other the traits of unsuccessfulness are so strong and deeply embedded in my soul that whatever activity I choose or determine upon, ends up in nothing.


Anyhow, since I am back, I will use this opportunity to vent out my frustrations. Perhaps the coming weeks will be as monotonous as were the past few ones. Like always, I have accepted this and do no make any worthy efforts to change the status. Sometimes status quo is all the more important than a change. I do not fear a change but I hate to rue upon the unsuccessfulness that comes attached with it. This is despite of what so ever efforts I put in.


The Zoo is getting more and more difficult, the problem is it not being difficult but being boring. I do not know and perhaps this is too early to make a comment. Life besides the Zoo is hanging on loose threads. I wonder when they are so loose then why are they entangled. Some questions never have answers and if there are answers, they lie in the simplicity of those questions. I guess it is quite big to make statement like this.

I have started coming back through a different route. I changed so because the bus I take now is less crowded and I do get a seat. Though 502 has its own advantage, as sometimes your perversity gets satiated, etc. As I said earlier, somehow the bus journey that I use to enjoy all of a sudden became monotonous. So changing the route came in as a relief.


Today when I woke up it was raining. I like travelling when it rains in Delhi. It washes away the sins of the capital, unless it rains very hard and the city is on the verge of sinking. I thoroughly enjoyed my bus ride.


A few conversations that I picked up in the bus were amusing. A couple seated in front of me were talking about the complexities of their life. Their kids were busy gazing outside. It made me wonder that how would I have reacted when I was a kid and how will I react if I ever plan a family. The kids were mesmerized with the grandeur of Delhi and somehow I could relate them with me. I am too fascinated with Delhi, its buildings, its polluted air, its big bazaars and narrow lanes and perhaps in a distant way with its people too.


For a moment, I was transported back into my childhood. Something inside me wept, silently like as always. Yesterday was my parent’s 25th marriage anniversary. I knew that but did not call. Except congratulations, I had nothing to give. Therefore, I was apprehensive. I received a call from my home last night. I did said congratulations and added Sorry to it. Yet again, I was unsuccessful to explain my unsuccessfulness…………….